Monday, October 24, 2005
military shenanigans
so, yeah, i put up some pix on my flickr page that were kinda cryptic. let me splain
my speaking teacher invited me out to a military exercise of sorts with some of his buddies. i think he likes me because i speak english and because i watch some of the same dvds as he does. anyway, i didn't know what i was getting myself into. this is what happens. every weekend some of these guys (ex military, bank guards, gaming freaks, history buffs, war stuff collectors, etc) all go out to some remote part of the countryside and bring with them some expensive toys. they dress up in very realistic looking camo gear and arm themselves with extremely realistic looking guns that shoot little plastic pellets at high velocity. it's a boys' club to the extreme and got pretty boring after a while, especially cuz i didn't join in on the warfare and mayhem.
first off, i was tired. i had been up late the night before at some party or another, hobnobbing with other students and possibly drinking some kind of liquid that is better used for cleaning car parts. i had to get up at 7 to get out to the meeting place and so i was not in the mood to shoot at moving targets, not to mention having them shoot speedy little bity things back in my direction at the same time. and i wasn't dressed properly. i was wearing shorts and had no gear to cover my face. cheng laoshi loaned me a pair of goggles thankfully, but i was really adamant about not wanting to get shot in the nuts. so i let the boys play and took some pictures.
it was really intristing tho, all tiredness aside. they were all REAlly into it. running around in squadron formations and taking hills and defending to the last man etc. man it was cool to watch. to a point. after i figured out that after playing for three hours and then eating lunch we were going back for More (oh, and it started to drizzle and got really cold), i just decided to find a place to take a nap.
a note on the guns: those things were pretty cool as well. and they had all types. guns with scopes, shotguns, handguns, automatic and manual, big and small. i wish i could have taken pictures of all of them, but the guys were too busy firing them and i too busy staying out of range of the ricochets.
yes, these pellets were flying so fast that they would bounce off trees twenty yards away and still come back and hit me. i got my protective goggles knocked off by one (not so protective when they don't precisely fit mah big head) and hit in the lip by another (numb for a minute.) it was nuts. i just huddled or watched from afar. oh and one somehow got down my shorts when i was sitting and watching. i stood up and pooped a yellow pellet. odd.
this is all mildly illegal as well, because you're not spost to run military exercises outside of the governance of the military in china, so these guys are true rebels. but not really. they're just nouveau riche with lotsa spare time and nothing to do but pelt each other with toy guns. i think that's about the same thing that some national guard guys do in the states. crosscultural connexns all over the place. who's to say that china and america won't get along? we're all just as bored as the next person. of course, boredom can also start wars. let's hope we all put our energies into things that don't get us all kilt.
any questions?
oh, and Aaron (cheng laoshi) also invited two of his korean friends along who were pretty cool. one of them sat with me and didn't play, while the other borrowed Aaron's gear and went to play around in the jungle. he looked pretty psyched, but he died relatively quickly. which was another thing i didn't get. there was some kind of honor system going on whereby if you felt that you were being hit enough by the enemy, such that you felt a certain amount of pain, then you considered yourself dead and stood up with your weapon above your head. but doesn't that leave room for different thresholds of pain? what if i just say, nah, that didn't hurt, shoot me again. nope, still nothing. you sure your battery's workin? feels like a mosquito bite. pretty puny gun you've got there.
but no, that stuff hurts. no joke. one of the koreans shot the other point blank and left a welt on his leg. those koreans. but then again, they all have to mandatorily enter into military service during high school or something. one of them was in artillery. how odd to think growing up in america might have kept me more distanced from guns than elsewhere in the world. that's certainly not the impression others have of america. they basically strip search me when they meet me, assuming i'm packin some heat. the world is just full of misconceptions and contraceptives.
my speaking teacher invited me out to a military exercise of sorts with some of his buddies. i think he likes me because i speak english and because i watch some of the same dvds as he does. anyway, i didn't know what i was getting myself into. this is what happens. every weekend some of these guys (ex military, bank guards, gaming freaks, history buffs, war stuff collectors, etc) all go out to some remote part of the countryside and bring with them some expensive toys. they dress up in very realistic looking camo gear and arm themselves with extremely realistic looking guns that shoot little plastic pellets at high velocity. it's a boys' club to the extreme and got pretty boring after a while, especially cuz i didn't join in on the warfare and mayhem.
first off, i was tired. i had been up late the night before at some party or another, hobnobbing with other students and possibly drinking some kind of liquid that is better used for cleaning car parts. i had to get up at 7 to get out to the meeting place and so i was not in the mood to shoot at moving targets, not to mention having them shoot speedy little bity things back in my direction at the same time. and i wasn't dressed properly. i was wearing shorts and had no gear to cover my face. cheng laoshi loaned me a pair of goggles thankfully, but i was really adamant about not wanting to get shot in the nuts. so i let the boys play and took some pictures.
it was really intristing tho, all tiredness aside. they were all REAlly into it. running around in squadron formations and taking hills and defending to the last man etc. man it was cool to watch. to a point. after i figured out that after playing for three hours and then eating lunch we were going back for More (oh, and it started to drizzle and got really cold), i just decided to find a place to take a nap.
a note on the guns: those things were pretty cool as well. and they had all types. guns with scopes, shotguns, handguns, automatic and manual, big and small. i wish i could have taken pictures of all of them, but the guys were too busy firing them and i too busy staying out of range of the ricochets.
yes, these pellets were flying so fast that they would bounce off trees twenty yards away and still come back and hit me. i got my protective goggles knocked off by one (not so protective when they don't precisely fit mah big head) and hit in the lip by another (numb for a minute.) it was nuts. i just huddled or watched from afar. oh and one somehow got down my shorts when i was sitting and watching. i stood up and pooped a yellow pellet. odd.
this is all mildly illegal as well, because you're not spost to run military exercises outside of the governance of the military in china, so these guys are true rebels. but not really. they're just nouveau riche with lotsa spare time and nothing to do but pelt each other with toy guns. i think that's about the same thing that some national guard guys do in the states. crosscultural connexns all over the place. who's to say that china and america won't get along? we're all just as bored as the next person. of course, boredom can also start wars. let's hope we all put our energies into things that don't get us all kilt.
any questions?
oh, and Aaron (cheng laoshi) also invited two of his korean friends along who were pretty cool. one of them sat with me and didn't play, while the other borrowed Aaron's gear and went to play around in the jungle. he looked pretty psyched, but he died relatively quickly. which was another thing i didn't get. there was some kind of honor system going on whereby if you felt that you were being hit enough by the enemy, such that you felt a certain amount of pain, then you considered yourself dead and stood up with your weapon above your head. but doesn't that leave room for different thresholds of pain? what if i just say, nah, that didn't hurt, shoot me again. nope, still nothing. you sure your battery's workin? feels like a mosquito bite. pretty puny gun you've got there.
but no, that stuff hurts. no joke. one of the koreans shot the other point blank and left a welt on his leg. those koreans. but then again, they all have to mandatorily enter into military service during high school or something. one of them was in artillery. how odd to think growing up in america might have kept me more distanced from guns than elsewhere in the world. that's certainly not the impression others have of america. they basically strip search me when they meet me, assuming i'm packin some heat. the world is just full of misconceptions and contraceptives.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
i went recently to the Western Hills (Xishan) in a traditionally chinese journey-to-the-west kinda way, spending my saturday there hiking. i went with my neighbor phil and two other foreign friends, jasper and colleen. easy to get to, we took two buses and half an hour's time. upon arrival we ran into the requisite van drivers offering rides to the top. scoff scoff, said we, we don't need your portage. little did we know.
the word hill is a pretty feeble-sounding word in the english language, making one think of sloping hills, rolling hills, and (rarely) steep hills. these western hills may be a problem in language-to-language interpretation. the chinese character, shan, can be both hills and mountains in meaning. this is a pretty important distinction in my book (see Elliot's Book at your local library or bookstore) and that difference could make or break an expedition or foray into whatever part of the chinese countryside. it nearly broke ours.
slugging up the first "low" hills, we took a break at a nice little park with western-style manicured lawns and various types of bamboo. while eating colleen-provided bagels we discussed many topics that young people often banter back and forth, like the possibility of a species of grass monster that looks exactly like a blade of grass and blends in perfectly, bending slightly when you try to mow the lawn, sticking out from the rest interpidly, mocking our best efforts to manicure said lawns and always coming out blurry in lawn photos, for example.
we ate some oranges pensively and then continued on up, taking a side path that looked enticing but felt less than stellar. puff puff we climbed the endless stairs, stopping at this or that temple to rest and stare at the stairs to go. when we finally got to the top of our "adventurous" path, it was hard to speak through our panting breaths. this is the point in the mount everest expedition where the team reaches the 8th camp and sees clouds circling the peak, doubting that they will ever make it to that tenuous peak, considering the unquestionable fact that it is easier to go back than to go on (or at least that's what we tell ourselves at times like these.) half of my team went back to base camp. colleen and i trudged on into the great unknown, undaunted.
well, slightly daunted, but doggedly impervious to pain and fatigue.
the rest of the going was of the easy type, for a while at least. we just had to punch through the vendor hounds with three heads and snarling teeth, chirping endlessly at us with their toy bird nests and bird whistles. CRASH we bulled them out of the way and routed their pursuit with a well-felled conifer across the path. there was no returning at that point.
we paid charon his dues and crossed the last barrier standing between us and the fabled dragon gate. high up in the reaches of the dark foreboding mountain we trekked, scaling perilous stretches of sharp rock and leaping abyssal chasms of netherworldly depths. through tunnels gouged out of the unforgiving rock by ancestors long-forgotten we crawled, squirmed, fought for space to breathe, finally finding the light again and seeing what we had come to see. a place to be remembered, but never mentioned lightly. prehistoric creatures with wingspans of a 747 swirled up and around the stark cliffside, spewing fire all around, creating a cacophony of echoing dirges with their shrill cries of pain and ancient fury. the gate looked so small and insignificant and the distance between impassable. if we had been despondent before, that knew nothing of the despair we found ourselves drenched in at that moment. unable to move, we sobbed silently at both the prospects of having to go back the way we had come or continuing on unto certain death.
luckily there was a hang-glider chillin on the rock next to us, so we jumped on and spun off toward our salvation, dodging dragon fire and falling rocks, navigating the fierce winds at that altitude. needless to say, we made it to the ground safely and thanks to a helpful villager down below found our way back to civilization (bicycles and donuts.)
it was a good trip. deus ex machina and late-night choose-your-own-adventure-esqueness aside, i had a good time and am going back this saturday morning for a jog around the paths. i think i may have posted some pics on my flickr sight. checkmout.
the word hill is a pretty feeble-sounding word in the english language, making one think of sloping hills, rolling hills, and (rarely) steep hills. these western hills may be a problem in language-to-language interpretation. the chinese character, shan, can be both hills and mountains in meaning. this is a pretty important distinction in my book (see Elliot's Book at your local library or bookstore) and that difference could make or break an expedition or foray into whatever part of the chinese countryside. it nearly broke ours.
slugging up the first "low" hills, we took a break at a nice little park with western-style manicured lawns and various types of bamboo. while eating colleen-provided bagels we discussed many topics that young people often banter back and forth, like the possibility of a species of grass monster that looks exactly like a blade of grass and blends in perfectly, bending slightly when you try to mow the lawn, sticking out from the rest interpidly, mocking our best efforts to manicure said lawns and always coming out blurry in lawn photos, for example.
we ate some oranges pensively and then continued on up, taking a side path that looked enticing but felt less than stellar. puff puff we climbed the endless stairs, stopping at this or that temple to rest and stare at the stairs to go. when we finally got to the top of our "adventurous" path, it was hard to speak through our panting breaths. this is the point in the mount everest expedition where the team reaches the 8th camp and sees clouds circling the peak, doubting that they will ever make it to that tenuous peak, considering the unquestionable fact that it is easier to go back than to go on (or at least that's what we tell ourselves at times like these.) half of my team went back to base camp. colleen and i trudged on into the great unknown, undaunted.
well, slightly daunted, but doggedly impervious to pain and fatigue.
the rest of the going was of the easy type, for a while at least. we just had to punch through the vendor hounds with three heads and snarling teeth, chirping endlessly at us with their toy bird nests and bird whistles. CRASH we bulled them out of the way and routed their pursuit with a well-felled conifer across the path. there was no returning at that point.
we paid charon his dues and crossed the last barrier standing between us and the fabled dragon gate. high up in the reaches of the dark foreboding mountain we trekked, scaling perilous stretches of sharp rock and leaping abyssal chasms of netherworldly depths. through tunnels gouged out of the unforgiving rock by ancestors long-forgotten we crawled, squirmed, fought for space to breathe, finally finding the light again and seeing what we had come to see. a place to be remembered, but never mentioned lightly. prehistoric creatures with wingspans of a 747 swirled up and around the stark cliffside, spewing fire all around, creating a cacophony of echoing dirges with their shrill cries of pain and ancient fury. the gate looked so small and insignificant and the distance between impassable. if we had been despondent before, that knew nothing of the despair we found ourselves drenched in at that moment. unable to move, we sobbed silently at both the prospects of having to go back the way we had come or continuing on unto certain death.
luckily there was a hang-glider chillin on the rock next to us, so we jumped on and spun off toward our salvation, dodging dragon fire and falling rocks, navigating the fierce winds at that altitude. needless to say, we made it to the ground safely and thanks to a helpful villager down below found our way back to civilization (bicycles and donuts.)
it was a good trip. deus ex machina and late-night choose-your-own-adventure-esqueness aside, i had a good time and am going back this saturday morning for a jog around the paths. i think i may have posted some pics on my flickr sight. checkmout.
